Well-Mannered Frivolity

What I learned from my purple bracelet

Okay, so I didn't make it 21 days. A few times I made it a little over 21 hours with out complaining, gossiping, being sarcastic, or cussing. It was the sarcasm that undid me. Sarcasm is the mainstay of my communication style. Without the sarcasm I just didn't feel like me. Plus, the bracelet was a little uncomfortable, and it was annoying to keep changing from wrist to wrist.

The purple bracelet also started to make me feel kind of superior and legalistic. When I would hear others complaining or gossiping I would start to feel like I was better than those people. Surely that is worse that actually complaining or gossiping myself. Pride is an ugly thing. It goeth before a fall, or something like that. I don't like to fall.

I did, however, learn a few things. I learned how to be more patient. I learned that I pretty much bitched and moaned constantly. I learned that my language had gotten a little too, shall we say, salty. So, I wouldn't say the project was a total bust, but I am glad it is over.

Wendy

The Sunday Salon 10/25/09

I must be a glutton for punishment. I read a second book by Barbara Ehrenreich. This time it was her new book Bright-sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America. Okay, I didn't exactly read the whole thing. I read the first half and kind of skimmed the second half. Not only could the entire book have been distilled down to a longish essay, but, frankly, it was starting to bring me down. What on Earth has happened in this woman's life to make her so unrelentingly negative? For this review I will just hit on a few highlights that stuck out to me.

First, her battle with breast cancer. I understand her anger. If I was diagnosed with cancer I'd be pretty pissed off, too. But at some point you have to let go of the anger. It's just not healthy. I don't have any experience with cancer, but I do have experience with chronic illness. I am bipolar. I tend toward the depression end of the disease. I tend toward depression so far that two years ago I was hospitalized because I was suicidal. I know what it is like to be angry at the injustice of having a crippling condition that is completely out of your control. I could be bitter and angry about my mental illness, but I have made a conscious decision not to be. In fact I have used a lot of positive thinking and positive self talk to help overcome my depression. Guess what, Barb? It worked.

Second, her views on Christianity. She chose only to focus on the "prosperity" type ministry promoted by Joel Osteen and Joyce Meyer. I know many Christians in real life. Not a single one of them are in it for the money.   The Christians I know, and I'd like to think that I fall in this group, follow the Jesus of the Sermon on the Mount. Christianity does not magically solve all your problems, nor does it claim to. What Christianity can do is change the way you view your problems. It's amazing how much easier the blows life deals you are to handle when you view your life as a blessing.

Third, A Complaint Free World. Her treatment of this movement made me want to complain, but I didn't--I've gone a full 3 days without having to move my bracelet! This movement is not about ignoring the news or the injustices of the world. It's about stopping all the endless bitching and moaning we do for no good reason. It's about learning how to overcome road rage. It's about not complaining about every little thing that crosses your mind. When I made the conscious decision not to complain I was amazed at how much time I actually wasted needlessly complaining. I learned how to be more pleasant and how to treat others more kindly. What on earth could be wrong with that?

I think Barbara Ehrenreich could benefit from a little positive thinking, or at the very least maybe a high colonic. I'm just thankful I got both of her books from the library.

Wendy

Teaser Tuesday

Teaser Tuesdays is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
• Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers

The happier and more comfortable he became, the sadder her felt. This could be his life--should be his life--with Lila, right now, not as a guest at the table but at the head of it and maybe some of those children would have been his, too.

The Given Day: A Novel by Dennis Lehane pg 387

Wendy

On the complaining front-I got my official purple bracelet yesterday. I'm bona-fide. I haven't had to switch it to the other wrist in 2 days. I'm on a pretty good roll.

The dark side of Facebook

I love Facebook. It's been great reconnecting with old friends, some dating all the way back to elementary school. It's fun reading status updates, and don't even get me started on Farmtown. Sometimes I even communicate with my brother on Facebook, and he lives just around the corner. But I think, in some ways, social networking is having a negative effect on society. Have you ever caught yourself saying something to someone on Facebook that you would never say to them face to face? I know I have. Sometimes status updates and comments can get a little mean spirited. I have especially noticed this trend among friends of friends. I have been both guilty of and a victim of this. It usually starts off with a friend making a status update of hot topic issue such as religion or politics. You make a comment. Then  your friend's friend proceeds to tell you what an idiot you are. It's easy to do that, because you don't know the person you are insulting. Is this what we have debased ourselves to? Being hateful to strangers just because they don't share the same beliefs we do? What has happened to civility, tolerance, and kindness? It's okay to disagree, just do so in a way that is not vitriolic and hateful.

Peace,

Wendy

On the complaint front-I complained about 90 times today. I blame in on the two pots (that right pots) of coffee I drank today.