Well-Mannered Frivolity

A meme for grown-ups

I found this @ Blog of the Zombie Princess

Tired of all of those surveys made up by high school kids? Here's a list of questions for the people who are a little older. Copy and paste into your own note, then answer the questions. Finally, tag your friends (including me, please!). The usual thing, in other words.

If you're reading this, consider yourself tagged.

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
The auto insurance bill. We just went from being a one car family to being a two car family so the bill nearly doubled.

2. Do you miss being a child?
No.

3. Chore you hate the most?
Putting away the laundry. I don't mind washing it, I don't mind hanging it on the line, I don't mind folding it, but I hate putting it away. I can usually con the kids into doing it for me.

4. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
My family room. Sometimes Bill and I will eat dinner and watch a movie together after the kids have gone to bed. Of course, this usually involves not eating until 11:00 or so. We tried an experiment in August of 2008 to see if our family could go 1 month without eating out. Turns out we can go 14 months.

5. If you could go back and change one thing what would it be?
I never would have spanked Katherine or Mary Jane

6. Name of your first grade teacher?
Mrs Fink. She was very nice in spite of her name.

7. What do you really want to be doing right now?
Besides hanging out with my family all day? Writing a book.

8. What did you want to be when you grew up?

When I was really little I wanted to be a paleontologist. When I was a teenager I wanted to be an interior designer which is really funny because my house looks like it was decorated by a Salvation Army worker with really bad cataracts.

9. How many colleges did you attend?
3, yet I hold no degree. My parents are so proud.

10.Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?'
I'm in my jammies. I'm wearing a lime green shirt that says Goddess in Training. I only wear this shirt for sleep because the color looks bad on me and the message is a little silly.

11. What are your thoughts on gas prices?

I drive very little so I don't think about gas prices too much

12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
Turn this damn thing off!


13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
????

14. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Craig Ferguson, Ron Paul and Edge

15. Have you ever crashed your vehicle?
I once backed into a friend's car in my own driveway.

16. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer?

I do plan on volunteering when my children are a little older

17. Get up early or sleep in?
Sleep in. The early bird gets the worm, but who really wants to eat worms?

18. What is your favorite cartoon character?
I have 2. Calvin and Hobbes

19. Favorite thing to do at night?
Read and watch House Hunters so Bill and I can make fun of the house hunting people.

20. When did you first start feeling old?

I don't feel old.

21. Favorite lunch meat?
Tuna

22. What do you get every time you go into Wal-Mart?
I avoid The Walmarts like the plague

23. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
No

24. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about?
UHF with Weird Al. I don't actually keep it a secret how much I love this movie, but it's probably the lamest movie on my favorites list.

25. What's your favorite drink?
Cherry Coke Zero

26. Who from high school would you like to run into?
I've pretty much caught up with everyone I would want to from high school on Facebook

27. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
I listen to my iPod in the car unless Katherine is with me and it is morning time. If that is the case we listen to talk radio.

28. Sopranos or Desperate Housewives?
Neither. WWE

29. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?

When Bill and I were first married I would whine and pout to get my way.

30. Do you like the person that sits directly across from you at work?
Well, Bill and Mary Jane sit across from me at the dinner table, and I like them.

31. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purposes?
No, and I've never used one for its unintended purposes either

32. Last book you finished reading?
Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller and Early Bird: A Memoir of Premature Retirement by Rodney Rothman. I always read at least 2 books at once.

33. Do you have a teddy bear?
I still sleep with my pooh bear that I have had since I was small.

34. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
I can honestly say that I have never brushed my teeth in a strange place.

35. Do you go to church?
Yes

36. How old are you?

I am 38.

Wendy

Some thoughts on Halloween

I've decided this will be our last year celebrating Halloween. Next year I am going to tell the children the truth--that Halloween is just a clever ruse Satan's emissaries use to try to get children away from their parents so they can enroll them in Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Instead we will celebrate Reformation Day. We will all dress up in brown monk type robes and nail complaints on the door of the local Catholic church. Why the change? Simple economics. Halloween is FREAKIN' EXPENSIVE!!!! 

I thought I would be getting off a little easier this year since Katherine is too old to trick or treat. Hoo-boy was I ever kidding myself.  Mary Jane wants to be Alice Cullen from the Twilight books. I was able to cobble that costume together out of some of my old goth clothes. I doubt anyone will know who she actually is, but at least the costume was free--except for the $3.00 pair of vampire fangs. Lila is going as a witch. Her costume was about $20.00. Not too bad since it included the hat, the dress and the belt. She wanted a broom to carry, but I told her she would have to make due with my kitchen broom. I am not paying $10.00 for a plastic broom that doesn't even sweep. The twins are both going as Ironman. Their costumes were $30.00 each mask not included. They will be faceless Ironmen wearing crocs. Tony Stark cobbled together his original suit out of spare parts in a cave in, um, er..Afghanistan maybe?, but this made in China $30.00 piece of nylon couldn't include a mask? Oy vey.

Speaking of the delicate subject of Christians and Halloween, or the more sinister pagan Sam Hain........When Katherine was about 3 Bill took her trick or treating for the first time. This was before we were Christians. When she got home the three of us went through her haul on the premise of looking for razor blades and traces of Anthrax. What I was actually looking for were any stray Twix bars, but I digress.  In her bag of candy I came across a religious tract. Now this wasn't a happy tract where we are compared to a pumpkin being carved by Jesus--you know the type, he takes out all the bad guts, puts a light in us and carves a smile on our faces or something like that. This was a "you are going to hell for trick or treating your worthless heathens' type tract. This thing could have been written by Jonathan Edwards. I was so pissed that I thought steam was going to come out of my ears. Here was some self-righteous twit telling me I was leading my baby girl to hell just so she could get some candy. Did the twit actually think they were going to convert anyone that way? This story has no real point. I just wanted to share it.

And have we mentioned the cost of the candy? I used to get the good stuff like Kit Kats and Twix, you know, chocolate. This time it's bubble gum and dum dums. I found a bag of Tootsie-Pops so big that I could hardly fit it into the back of my Excursion at Target for $9.99. Then it rang up for $6.79. I was so excited that I momentarily forgot how to work the debit card machine and accidentally cancelled my payment.

Now that I have gotten Satan's holiday financed I'll start looking toward Christmas.

Wendy

Tuesday Teaser

Teaser Tuesdays is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
• Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!

Amy's ninety-fourth birthday is coming up, and I've decided that my present to her will be a set a comedy club. I'll have them put a chair onstage, and I'll take care of all the planning and organization.

Early Bird: A Memoir of Premature Retirementby Rodney Rothman

Wendy

National Blog Posting Month is coming up

NaBloPoMo is almost here! The rules are simple---Blog everyday for the entire month of November. Go ahead and sign up. You know you want to. All the cool kids are doing it.

Wendy

Blue Like Jazz

I was up late last night with a sick child. James ate a few too many cookies and had a little too much chocolate milk. It all made the return trip about 2:00 AM. He puked once and after that he was fine, but I couldn't sleep. He did manage to puke in the puke bowl, so I will give the little guy credit for that, but there is just something about a middle of the night illness adventure that puts a mama on red alert status.

Since I was up anyway I decided to do a little reading, natch. I had a fresh, new stack from the library and settled on Blue Like Jazz: Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality by Donald Miller. I wish this book along with The Irresistible Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical and Jesus for President: Politics for Ordinary Radicals by Shane Claiborne could be read by every skeptic who thinks all Christians are heartless, money grubbing, right-wing fanatics. That there are many, many Christians actually struggling to be Christlike, to follow the example set forth by Jesus, but I digress........

I read a passage in Blue Like Jazz that really struck me. In this passage Miller had just been to a protest protesting Bush for "blindly supporting the World Bank.....and our policy toward Iraq."

"The thing I realized on the day we protested.....was that it did me no good to protest America's responsibility in global poverty when I wasn't even giving money to my church, which has a terrific homeless ministry. I started feeling very much like a hypocrite.

More than my questions about the efficacy of social action were my questions about my own motives. Do I want social justice for the oppressed, or do I just want to be known as a socially active person? I spend 95 percent of my time thinking about myself anyway. I don't have to watch the evening news to see that the world is bad, I only have to look at myself. I am not browbeating myself here; I am only saying that true change, true life-giving, God-honoring change would have to start with the individual. I was the very problem I had been protesting. I wanted to make a sign that read, 'I AM THE PROBLEM!'"  

Wow! How many times have I railed about the injustices of the world without actually doing anything to change the world. I remember going to Gulf War protests back in college because it was the cool thing to do. I've been to 'tea parties' because I really believe in freedom and liberty. I bitch and moan about the government as much as the next guy. I feel guilty when I see a homeless person. My heart breaks for the women of Afghanistan. But what do I do about it? Nothing. My church has a fantastic ministry I could be supporting, too. But I don't. Why not? I really don't know. I AM THE PROBLEM. But I can change that.

Wendy

The Sunday Salon 10/25/09

I must be a glutton for punishment. I read a second book by Barbara Ehrenreich. This time it was her new book Bright-sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America. Okay, I didn't exactly read the whole thing. I read the first half and kind of skimmed the second half. Not only could the entire book have been distilled down to a longish essay, but, frankly, it was starting to bring me down. What on Earth has happened in this woman's life to make her so unrelentingly negative? For this review I will just hit on a few highlights that stuck out to me.

First, her battle with breast cancer. I understand her anger. If I was diagnosed with cancer I'd be pretty pissed off, too. But at some point you have to let go of the anger. It's just not healthy. I don't have any experience with cancer, but I do have experience with chronic illness. I am bipolar. I tend toward the depression end of the disease. I tend toward depression so far that two years ago I was hospitalized because I was suicidal. I know what it is like to be angry at the injustice of having a crippling condition that is completely out of your control. I could be bitter and angry about my mental illness, but I have made a conscious decision not to be. In fact I have used a lot of positive thinking and positive self talk to help overcome my depression. Guess what, Barb? It worked.

Second, her views on Christianity. She chose only to focus on the "prosperity" type ministry promoted by Joel Osteen and Joyce Meyer. I know many Christians in real life. Not a single one of them are in it for the money.   The Christians I know, and I'd like to think that I fall in this group, follow the Jesus of the Sermon on the Mount. Christianity does not magically solve all your problems, nor does it claim to. What Christianity can do is change the way you view your problems. It's amazing how much easier the blows life deals you are to handle when you view your life as a blessing.

Third, A Complaint Free World. Her treatment of this movement made me want to complain, but I didn't--I've gone a full 3 days without having to move my bracelet! This movement is not about ignoring the news or the injustices of the world. It's about stopping all the endless bitching and moaning we do for no good reason. It's about learning how to overcome road rage. It's about not complaining about every little thing that crosses your mind. When I made the conscious decision not to complain I was amazed at how much time I actually wasted needlessly complaining. I learned how to be more pleasant and how to treat others more kindly. What on earth could be wrong with that?

I think Barbara Ehrenreich could benefit from a little positive thinking, or at the very least maybe a high colonic. I'm just thankful I got both of her books from the library.

Wendy

My story of getting by in America

When Bill and I found out we were pregnant with Katherine in 1995 we were both working part time, dead end jobs. I was a billing clerk/customer service rep at a trucking company and he was a cook at a burrito palace. We lived in a college type apartment in downtown Charleston with a roommate. We got married July 1st and moved in with my parents. Bill had to quit his job, because he didn't have a car or insurance. Before I met him he had been arrested for driving with a suspended license (for driving without insurance) and couldn't afford the expensive SR-22 insurance. In August he found a part time job as a stock clerk at Publix Supermarket in Summerville making about 2 dollars an hour over minimum wage. My parents and I drove him back and forth to work. By September 1st we had enough money to move into a one bedroom apartment across the street from Publix. This enabled Bill to walk to work  Within 2 weeks of working Bill was given a dollar an hour raise. By October he was made full time with full benefits coming after a 90 period. I was on Medicaid at the time because I didn't have maternity insurance.

I quit my job the day before Thanksgiving-2 weeks before my December 17th due date. Bill and I were both working nights. Our plan was that  I would start looking for a day time job when Katherine was about 6 weeks old so I could put her in daycare while I worked. Katherine ended up being born on December 28th. We had medical insurance on January 1st. I was so proud of that insurance card.

After Katherine was born I realized I did not want to go back to work so we moved into a less expensive 2 bedroom townhouse up the street. By this time Bill had a $60.00 bike that he rode back and forth to work. We had one car, we didn't have cable, we didn't go out to eat, our clothes came from Walmart, Katherine (and my other 4 children) wore cloth diapers, and, of course, we couldn't have done it without my parents helping us out from time to time.  When Kat was about 6 months old we started to do maintenance work for my dad at his commercial rental property. Bill, Katherine and I would drive up there together, and Bill and I would take turns taking care of Katherine and mowing the grass and picking up trash and whatever else needed to be done on Bill's days off.

By the time Katherine was 2 Bill had been promoted to management, we owned a house, 2 cars and we had a few luxury items like DirecTV.  Bill worked hard and proved himself and steadily worked his way up the ranks of management.

Maybe we just got lucky, but I don't think so. Bill is a hard worker who has always put his family first. I think he is the true epitome that you can get by in America.

Wendy

Nickel and Dimed vs Scratch Beginnings

I just finished reading Barbara Ehrenreich's Nickel and Dimed: On (Not) Getting By in America. In this book Ehrenreich sets out to prove that an unskilled laborer cannot get by in America. The biggest problem I had with Nickel and Dimed was that the author set herself up for failure from the beginning. She set up three 'experiments' in Key West, Maine, and Minnesota each lasting one month. Her rules were that she would not live in a shelter, she would set herself up with $1500.00 in seed money and she would rent a car with her credit card in each town.

In Key West she landed a waitressing job with housing a 40 minute drive away. She had to live 40 minutes away so she could find affordable housing. I get that, but has the woman never heard of roommates? When she was hired for her job she was told she needed two pairs of khaki pants. Did she go to Salvation Army? Did she go to Walmart or Kmart? No, she went to a department store and bought $60.00 worth of Dockers. To her credit, she did admit this was a mistake later on in the book. She ends up walking out and quitting one night because her waitressing job is more than she can handle. It must be nice to just play at being poor.

In Maine she got a job with a cleaning service @ $6.65 per hour. She complained that the franchise owner was charging $25.00 per hour per person. She fails to take into consideration that the franchise is paying for cars, gas, cleaning supplies, payroll taxes, and insurance. She states that an independent maid makes $15.00 per hour. Barb is having to work as a maid 5 days per week as a maid, and weekends at a nursing home. Here's an crazy idea--Find an apartment with a roommate to share living expenses, and continue working those two jobs until she has enough saved up to be an independent maid.

In Minnesota Ehrenreich is hired at two places--Walmart at $6.25 per hour and Menard's at $10.00 per hour. Inexplicably, she takes the Walmart job. Why would she take a job at nearly $4.00 less per hour? And, seriously, it's not a well-kept secret that Walmart is a crummy place to work.  It kills me the way she constantly pities her coworkers for working the jobs they do. She thinks they must be the most down trodden people on the face of the earth to put up with such demeaning work. Well guess what? My husband does the type of work she poo-poos and he really enjoys his work. Could it be that he and millions more like him have something she's not familiar with called a work ethic?

Adam Shepard was required to read Nickel and Dimed in college. He didn't agree with the premise of the book so he set out to do his own little experiment. After graduation from college Shepard decided to pick a random city and start over with the clothes on his back and $25.00. His goals were to, within one year, own a car and live in a furnished apartment and have savings.   He picked Charleston, SC. He took the train to North Charleston, moved into the Crisis Ministries homeless shelter, and set out to find a job. He succeeded all of his goals in less than 6 months. Shepard details his story in Scratch Beginnings: Me, $25, and the Search for the American Dream. I will admit that Shepard's story is a bit unrealistic. He had several things going for him--no children, youth, good health, no substance abuse problems or criminal record.

I suspect the truth lies somewhere between these to books. I do feel like Barbara Ehrenreich dabbled at being poor while Adam Shepard really threw himself into his project. I also enjoyed the optimism in Shepard's book. Ehrenreich's book is very pessimistic and her lame attempts a humor often fall flat.

This post is already dragging on too long, so tomorrow I will share our story.

Wendy

Wendy

This is amazing video

Teaser Tuesday

Teaser Tuesdays is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
• Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers

The happier and more comfortable he became, the sadder her felt. This could be his life--should be his life--with Lila, right now, not as a guest at the table but at the head of it and maybe some of those children would have been his, too.

The Given Day: A Novel by Dennis Lehane pg 387

Wendy

On the complaining front-I got my official purple bracelet yesterday. I'm bona-fide. I haven't had to switch it to the other wrist in 2 days. I'm on a pretty good roll.